As God has led me on this journey of starting up H15 Ministries, my wife and I have felt like we were taking some big leaps of faith. Don’t get me wrong, we have stepped out on faith, but big leaps? Maybe not as much as we thought. Some of the leaps we took were big for us at the time but looking back I can see the net that I was making sure was there and I realize now that I wasn’t leaping very far.
As time has passed, there have been more leaps and some have been bigger than others but looking back I realize once again that I was still hanging onto something that I could control and instead of actually leaping in faith, I was just leaping.
We have been following God’s will and He has been working in some amazing ways as the ministry gets started. The issue wasn’t that we weren’t doing the right thing, it was that we still had a lot more to learn about following God! God has been gentle in His lessons but nevertheless, He has been teaching some hard things!
The president of our board was talking to me one day and said there was a book he wanted me to read. He handed me the book by Phil Vischer entitled “Me Myself & Bob”. It is the story of how Veggie Tales got started by God giving a kid playing around with film equipment and watching MTV a vision to provide the world with good quality Christian children’s videos. Phil very honestly tells the story of how Big Idea got started and how it grew and grew and how he allowed his pride to get in the way and all at once his dreams came crashing down around him and he was left with nothing but the question, “Why, God?” At the end of the book he talks about what he learned and how a recording of a sermon that his mom gave him posed the biggest question he would ever have to try to answer, “Is God enough?”
I have been wrestling with that question myself now. It is easy to say God is enough when we are looking for a quick and easy answer to some simple dilemma we are facing. When face a problem and say God is enough, it is great but it goes far far deeper!
As I strive to walk on faith I have realized that there were things that I was assuming God and I agreed were important. Things like food, shelter, clothes, my family, my health, you know, the necessities. Of course I can trust God because I know He’s not going to let my house get repossessed or my kids get killed in a car accident, after all, I told Him I’m walking on faith and trusting Him so He wouldn’t let me down, I’m His child, right?
GOD??? That’s right isn’t it???
What if God’s will for my life isn’t to have those things? What if at the end of it all, He knows that the very best way to use me in His divine plan is to allow me to lose everything? What if the day comes when I find out that I am losing my home? What if I find out my family is suddenly and tragically gone?
IS GOD STILL GOING TO BE ENOUGH FOR ME THEN??????
Truly walking on faith means that I can’t assume that God is going to keep me happy healthy and wealthy. In fact, He promises to provide all my needs but the thing is, He decides what I need, not me. What if He decides all I need is Him…just Him and nothing else?
Am I willing to surrender myself so completely to God that no matter what He decides to allow me to go through I will still come before His throne and worship Him with love and adoration? I want to have that kind of faith. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and I like having a home to live in and of course I hope that God isn’t planning to take those things away from me but if He does, Will I still love Him?
I’m standing on a cliff which has no bottom in sight, no net to fall into and no ladder coming back up and God just asked me to jump. Will I? Would you jump?
Here I go….